


Between The Peace and The Panic

by actualkit



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Kevintines, Other, Recovery, Talk Shows, i don't ship and let ship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-11-01 12:45:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17867534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/actualkit/pseuds/actualkit
Summary: Kevintines prompt: Recovery.The man Kevin shows to the public is not the same as who he is in the comfort of a therapist's office.





	Between The Peace and The Panic

**Author's Note:**

> Title comes from Neck Deep's album The Peace and The Panic.  
> I highly recommend listening to In Bloom, I feel like it fits him perfectly.  
> This was written for the Kevin birthday week event I organised. You can find other works in the #kevintines tag on Tumblr.

“My next guest is somebody you’re all familiar with! This former raven had one hell of a comeback last season, even scoring the championship winning goal against his former teammates! He won and lost in the same night, after the tragic loss of his adoptive brother, but when you knock this Fox down, he always gets back up. Please welcome, Kevin Day!”

The audience got to their feet as soon as Kevin appeared, dressed in a navy-blue suit and shiny black shoes. He made his way across the stage to Kathy, waving to the audience as he went, and shook hands with her.

“Good to have you back, Kevin!” Kathy grinned.

Kevin took a seat on her couch, giving a nonchalant shrug. “It’s good to be back,” he said, “it’s been a while.”

Kathy nodded and clasped her hands on her lap.

Once the cheering died down, she spoke again.

“The last time you were here was with your teammate, Neil Josten.”

“Oh, yes,” Kevin smiled, “we’ve had to tie him up in the broom closet this time.”

The audience laughed.

“I’m kidding,” he laughed along with them, “but he _is_ pretty busy at the moment.”

“He’s been made vice-captain!” said Kathy. She narrowed her eyes and leaned forward. “How do you feel about that? Do you think it was a good idea?”

“Absolutely,” Kevin said without missing a beat, “Neil has bite, but the team respects him a great deal, myself included. He played a huge role in getting us to the finals, both on and off the court.”

“So, he’ll take over from Wilds once she graduates.”

“That’s right.”

“That’s so much pressure!” Kathy gasped “especially with everything that’s come out about his past.”

Kevin shifted in his seat. “All the Foxes have unorthodox pasts. Maybe not quite as crazy as Neil’s. However, what it means to be a Fox is to outgrow your background, to become more than what you came from. If anything, it serves as another reason he deserves to be captain.”

A portion of the audience applauded.

“We found out something pretty interesting about you, too, Kevin!” Kathy said, raising her eyebrows, “about Coach Wymack!”

“Yes” Kevin nodded.

“Tell me Kevin, how long have you known that he’s your father?”

“Since high school. My mother told Coach Moriyama in a letter.”

Kathy cocked her head to one side. “But she didn’t tell Wymack, is that right? Why not?”

“She knew he’d drop everything to raise me - that’s just the kind of man he is - and she didn’t want him giving up on his career. He’s been absolutely amazing, since even before he found out.”

“How _did_ he find out?”

“I told him myself.”

Kathy’s jaw went slack. “That was very brave of you.”

Kevin shook his head and smiled softly, “I should have told him much sooner, he deserved to know.”

“And how does he feel? About being your father, I mean?”

Kevin laughed nervously. “Uh… well, he was shocked, of course. We’ve been working through it together. He… he’s been the best dad, he always has. He’s treated me as his own son since before he knew I was.”

This time, the whole audience applauded.

“Now…” Kathy began, then waited for the audience to go silent, “while you’ve gained a father, you’ve lost a brother.”

Kevin bit down on his lip and nodded.

“How have you been coping?”

“It’s been rough,” said Kevin, “but I have an amazing support network around me, so I’m doing OK.”

“You’re certainly putting on a brave face” Kathy sighed.

Kevin nodded, again.

“Did that make winning the championships hard for you? Knowing what Riko did afterwards?”

For a moment, Kevin didn’t answer.

“Kevin?” Kathy prompted.

Eventually, he sucked in a breath and spoke.

“It wasn’t my fault. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. No one saw it coming. Some p- some people are just… really good at hiding how they feel.”

“I’m sure” said Kathy.

* * *

 

Bee turned around at the sound of her office door opening.

“Kevin,” she smiled “welcome, have a seat.”

Kevin sheepishly walked around the couch and sat down.

He looked rather bed-shaped, with his hair flicking up in random places. Bee was pretty sure Kevin had slept in the shirt he was wearing, and then had just pulled on some jeans before coming here.

“I made you a tea,” Bee gestured to the table between them, “two sugars.”

“Thanks” Kevin muttered.

Bee picked up her own drink and gently blew on it. “Is there anything particular you’d like to chat about today?”

“I went on Kathy’s show” said Kevin.

“I heard” Bee replied. She took a sip, then placed her mug back down. “How did you find it?”

Kevin shrugged. “It was Kathy, it went how I thought it would go. She asked about Neil, she commented on Riko, and she sent me on my way.”

“How’re you feeling after it?” Bee asked.

“Uh…” Kevin blinked, still half asleep, “I don’t know. The team didn’t go, it was just coach with me this time.”

Bee smiled. “Did you feel better knowing he was there?”

Kevin didn’t answer for a while. Bee didn’t push him.

“Yeah,” he said, finally, “it was also a little… a little nerve-wracking because Kathy brought up the fact that he’s my father. I didn’t expect her to. No one’s really as interested in it as they are about Riko.”

He rested his head against the back of the couch and stared at the ceiling.

“They all love Riko. They love him… _so much_. They think that I’ve lost a part of myself now he’s gone, and it’s my job to act as though it’s true.”

“So, you don’t have mixed feelings over his death, anymore?” Bee asked.

Kevin sighed softly, still staring at the ceiling.

“I feel safer with him dead,” he explained, “everyone is safer with him dead. I just know that this doesn’t mean I’m out of the woods. I still play for the Moriyamas.”

Bee hummed in understanding.

“I don’t know what Neil says to you in his sessions, but he honestly just seems to not give a shit. He gets to play Exy and he’s happy with that. I’m happy that he’s happy. I just wish-” He sat up, lifting his head so he could look at Bee, “-I just wish he wasn’t a fucking ass. He doesn’t try to understand my perspective; he’s as bad as the others. But he’s the only one who takes Exy as seriously as me, and that’s why I think of him as my friend… among other things.”

“Other things?” Bee asked.

“He gets me a little better than the team does, since we’ve been through similar shit, and he may be an ass, but so is everyone else… and so am I.”

“You think you’re an ass.”

“I know I’m an ass, Dr Dobson, and so does everyone else who’s ever actually known me.”

Bee shook her head. “I for one, Kevin, do not think that you are an ass.”

“I’m used to people having misconceptions about me,” Kevin said, coolly. “The media portrays me as the golden boy who’s soldiering on for his would-be brother. Everyone thinks I’m so… _good_. They all think I’m amazing, that I’m a gift to humanity, that I’m cool and on top of everything all the time and that my life is a fucking paradise.”

She could tell he wasn’t quite finished, so she stayed silent.

“When are they all going to find out? How long is it going to be until my mistakes catch up with my image? Or can I really stumble my way through my entire life fooling people?”

Bee took another sip of tea and held it between her hands.

“It’s true that the public doesn’t know everything about you, Kevin. It’s good to have a private life. Tell me, your thought process, about you only being your mistakes and fooling people into thinking that you’re as great as they think you are, do you remember what we call that kind of thinking?”

“All or nothing” Kevin mumbled.

“That’s right,” said Bee, “you think that you have to be perfect, or else you’re the worst. No one is a hundred percent good or bad. I believe, as well as do others, that your good outweighs whatever you see as bad about yourself.”

Kevin worked his jaw. When he didn’t reply, Bee continued, “how long have you been sober?”

“It’ll be a month next week” said Kevin.

“Don’t you think that’s something to be proud of?”

“It’s only a month.”

“A month of you not resorting to toxic coping mechanisms. You deserve to feel good about that.”

Kevin merely hummed in reply.

“I’m proud of you,” Bee smiled, “and I know your father is, too.”

Kevin met her eyes, and Bee’s smile didn’t waver.

He offered a small smile back, then looked away again.

Bee leaned forward in her seat. “I think you’ve been doing incredibly well, Kevin. After everything that happened last year, it would be understandable for you to not be at the top of your game. But you’ve been pushing through; you’ve been sober for almost a month, you’ve been spending time with your father and working through your relationship with him, I think you’ve even become better friends with Neil and the others.”

Kevin said nothing.

“What’re you thinking about?” Bee asked.

“My History essay” Kevin replied.

Bee crossed one leg over the other and rested her chin in one hand.

“Would you like to chat about that, instead?”

Kevin nodded.

“I’m all ears” said Bee.


End file.
